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UntamedUnwanted by cosmosgrl19

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Literature by ruhee2212


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Submitted on
September 29, 2012
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1.9 KB
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2,370 (1 today)
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85

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Creative Commons License
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Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
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My version of winter has always been flawed. It is controlled by the fall of snow and the exact amount of the ground it covers. It never ever covers the tiny little patch in the garden, right near the broken tin roofed shed. I suppose that is why I just like the idea of snow. But I do not love it.

(Realisation: I suppose that little corner represents the only part of me that even I cannot love.)

I met a man with candle lit wolf eyes and a strong, warm lion heart, who tells me Sea God stories before disappearing into a cold, cold winter's morning, fog cloaking his very essence.

(Addendum: Sometimes I think of five a.m. coffee, and wonder if your smile didn't hold all of winter's warmth in it, whether I would still be liking the idea of it.)

He lights candles and turns my room into a place of sanctity and prayer often. It makes the love making ironic in a way, I suppose. But nothing he ever does fails to intrigue the very fabric that my cotton soul is made of.

(Observation: His body is my temple, his hands my place of prayer. He treats me like a high priestess, sometimes his queen, and sometimes...as nothing at all.)

On a day when I was breaking into pieces of me, he took my hands, and promised me a forever made of windows of snow, winter and candles, the kind of winter candles that never ever die out when placed on windowsills.

I looked into his eyes and explained to him how forever was winter proof, that candles die, oh and just so he knew, "Minds like mine are glasshouses that can defeat even the most beautiful of snowstorms."

(Apologies: I am going to give you a bat, my darling. Here is my glasshouse.

Now then. Start smashing.
)
I am sorry, my K. I don't mean to lash out or hurt anyone, least of all you. I am just damaged and that is the work of the demons who hurt me before I met you, my Knight. It doesn't mean I don't love you. It means I am scared to give myself completely to the idea that someone loves me as much as I love him.

This is the best way I know to say sorry. This is the only way I know how to say sorry.

I love you.

(I promise I am trying to be back as soon as I can. I promise I always will love you. I promise you a home, children and a beautiful marriage. And I always keep my promises.)
Add a Comment:
 
:iconsigma-echo-seven:
Sigma-Echo-Seven Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Student Writer
I teared up a little bit, reading this.
Reply
:iconhalcyal:
Halcyal Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012
Stylistically beautiful in its rendering (as seems to be something of a mark of your craft).

My sense of this is an outward casement of fear and bitterness that still holds a flame beneath, peaking out through the cracks; a flame that tastes light and wants to burn; a flame that senses, in the winter, a warmth, to which it both yearns and recoils.

From what I can gather, I presume that the referenced 'him' looked at you, put the bat down gently and said, "no".
Reply
:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is a strange work. Strange in a good sense though. It has an eerie feeling. It tells a tale which is kept at a distance from where the reader is able to observe it yet not fully dwell in it. The writing style like many of your works is unique and the italics play their role well.

The last portion about glasshouses and giving him a bat made were the best for me. Best since, even though I might not had such an emotional experience, it gave me the feel that a person who is broken hearted has still realized where fantasies lie... and where truth extends. Whether their perspective is correct or not, whether fantasies shall continue for them or disappear... is not the question. It is just realization due to an unspoken past.

Realization... is what takes you forward. But it is also what hurts you the most. But no worries... I don't think someone you have trusted the way you have, will smash your glasshouse... ah, glasshouse. Reminds me of a work by my friend. Just as touching as this if not more. I think your glasshouse is safe as long as you keep it safe ^^

Wonderful work like always from you.
Reply
:iconstarkpretty:
Starkpretty Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012
What a beautiful piece of work. It's so raw and speaks to the heart of me, as I'm sure it will do to your K.

I think the work of the demons is fading, then. This is where it starts.

<3
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks so very much...He works fast, my K...on all the demons in my head.
Reply
:iconstarkpretty:
Starkpretty Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2012
No problem- he sounds fantastic. :)
Reply
:iconbekahfeelsloved:
BekahFeelsLoved Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
very creative! :)
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!! :D
Reply
:iconbekahfeelsloved:
BekahFeelsLoved Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
no problem ^^
Reply
:iconxxblackblossomxx:
XxblackblossomxX Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I really do love theses posts of yours. They speak to my soul and i feel more intra, inter i suppose. It's beautiful and I'm positive your promises will come to reality.
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Awww...thank you so much for saying that. I always do try to keep my promises. And to him? He means the world. :)
Reply
:iconxxblackblossomxx:
XxblackblossomxX Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Of course. Promises are worth keeping when they are for the ones you love and value.
Reply
:iconwaldo-butters:
Waldo-Butters Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Well m'dear, this seems a bit too personal for my usual humor, so, I hope you have a lovely evening. Also: Waldo is a beautiful name for a baby girl (I'm a horrible person and a liar, but I couldn't resist.) Oh, and if I visit England in the next sixty some odd years, expect a house call.
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hahahahaha!! Please do come by anytime, my friend. I will be more than happy to recieve you! :)
Reply
:iconwaldo-butters:
Waldo-Butters Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
We are going to paint that color... not red... maybe a nice tangerine....
Reply
:iconnianlauri:
NianLauri Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2012
Way to beautiful for K to not accept such apologies. I really hope things will go on the bright side in your life.
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for saying that. :)
Reply
:iconmintymintamin:
MintyMintamin Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
. . .i have never heard such emotion.
i wish that i could make such beautiful apologies.

if K understood what has happened in your life, and this. . . i think he would accept it. i know i would, no matter the damage.
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Bless...your comment is beautiful. Thank you...you brightened up my day.

(And you're right. He does. :))
Reply
:iconviolet-minds:
Violet-Minds Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
What kind of comment was that?

This just expanded something I had in my mind into something I didn't know it could be.

What random bag of tricks did I pull from?
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:)
Reply
:iconviolet-minds:
Violet-Minds Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
"I looked into his eyes and explained to him how forever was winter proof, that candles die, oh and just so he knew, "Minds like mine are glasshouses that can defeat even the most beautiful of snowstorms.""
Reply
:iconkailani-e:
Kailani-e Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
: ) Beautiful. There is such emotion in your words. This is the most beautiful apology in the world. :hug:
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much!! :)
Reply
:iconkailani-e:
Kailani-e Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
You're welcome!
Reply
:iconlightoverpowers58:
LightOverpowers58 Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012  Student Writer
:hug:

He has no choice but to accept such a beautiful apology....you will keep your promise.

:giggle: British English is amusing to read
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
(I know right?)

I've missed you!! How have you been??
Reply
:iconlightoverpowers58:
LightOverpowers58 Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Student Writer
:giggle:

I have been as well as can be said for a teenage female dealing with the ups and downs of hormones and school. ;P

What about you, how have you been doing? Long time no see/read (you know what I mean).
Reply
:iconhaikaree:
haikaree Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I cannot stop saying this: Your poems are so touching. I've never seen poetry like yours before. I love it <3
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Awww! Thank you so very much for saying that! :)
Reply
:iconw-anderlust:
w-anderlust Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012  Student Writer
I love this writing, just like I always do yours :)
As of what seems to be current events for you- Do what's best for you sometimes, whether you have to apologize to someone or not at some point.
And if you didn't have to, or it was an accident, sometimes an apology is all it takes.
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I have always valued a good apology more than a lot of things in life. :(
Reply
:iconw-anderlust:
w-anderlust Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Student Writer
I have too, dear. :hug:
Reply
:iconspindust:
spindust Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I never know what is behind your writing, but it never ceases to touch me. (:
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for reading my work and for leaving such a lovely comment!
Reply
:iconcosmosgrl19:
cosmosgrl19 Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Not sure what happened, but in ways of saying sorry, this is perhaps a more beautiful way, dear. You're words are powerful, and I'm confident he'll forgive you; whatever it was you're apologizing for.
Just know that we're confident the love you two have will mend you :) and you will have that beautiful life you promise. You keep your promises, after all ;3
:heart:
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I just over reacted to something I shouldn't have. He is much to kind and puts up with my stupidity. :P

How have you beent???
Reply
:iconcosmosgrl19:
cosmosgrl19 Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Very good overall :D
i've been dealing with stomach pains for some time, but they're hopefully getting better slowly :3
I have a boyfriend, as well! he's so sweet and makes me laugh, and smile and... *happy sigh*
I've been very good, haha <3
Reply
:iconits-a-yetti:
its-a-yetti Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:huggle:
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:glomp:
Reply
:icon13th-zodiak:
13th-ZodiaK Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012  Student General Artist
:smooch:
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:hug:
Reply
:iconclaireby:
cLaIrEbY Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012
Beautiful work. I really love the realisations and addendums. Really gorgeous writing and you can really see your soul through this piece.
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so very very much! :)
Reply
:iconblissful-day-dreamer:
Blissful-Day-Dreamer Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012  Student Writer
Aw sweetie, if you ever need a stranger or a friend I'm happy to listen :huggle:

You have a way with making pain seem beautiful.
Reply
:iconmarionetteofmusic:
MarionetteOfMusic Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012
Beautiful as usual! Your poetry never disappoints. It's always so strong and vibrant and full of emotion. I love it!
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for the beautiful comment!!
Reply
:iconsiren-badru:
Siren-Badru Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012  Student General Artist
Crap =_=nvm- I had to wrong letter in mind... Now I feel like the biggest idiot on the face of the earth *facedesk*
Reply
:iconsiren-badru:
Siren-Badru Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012  Student General Artist
I thought you and S were together..?
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
No, I broke up with him a while ago now. :P
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