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January 23, 2011
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Dear World.

I am dying. I can feel every little bit of me disappear slowly, like beautiful bright marbles disappearing into an abyss. They had told me the darkness would consume me. I never thought that I would see myself fall so soon. I had...so many dreams. So many aspirations. I was going to sing, you see, I wanted to make the world smile. I was going to dance with my own Prince Charming. I was going to write books that made the whole world think.

I was supposed to be wonderful. I was supposed to be strong. Instead I am going to die.

I am going to die. Every part of me will perish. My voice will become hoarse. My eyes will lose their sight. My feet will be too tired to move.

But I have something to say. Even if it isn't a book. Or something that would make the world think. It would mean something to the people I love. And they're all I have.

Mom. I'm sorry. You gave me my world. And now I have to return it to you. I never wanted to go before you. I never wanted you to see me this way. Weak, miserable...broken.

Dad. I took away the strong daughter you had and replaced her with this feeble thing you see in this hospital bed. I see you look away from me now. There was a time you used to love to watch me dance. I can't anymore. But you love me anyway.

Little boy. My sweet little brother who has grown up looking up at me in awe. You're taller than me. And so much stronger. Take care of yourself. Love our parents. Be their eyes the way they needed me to be.

Little sister. You're so much stronger than I could ever be. I see you clutch our mother's hand when she looks like she's in pain. She's always in pain around me. And you never fail to wipe her tears away with your tiny hands. I was meant to protect you. I'm so sorry I wasn't strong enough.

To the best friend I missed out on. I'm sorry I got sick so soon after meeting you. I dream often about going to college with you and starting our own band...and sleeping at four in the morning. I'm sorry I missed out on your first hearbreak, your first kiss...and the smile that would make me feel better about my own.

To the friends who never knew me. We lost out on making fun of our teachers, running around the park at night, fighting, getting drunk, studying till the wee hours of morning, and being stupid. I'm sorry. I would have loved to get to know you.

To the man I was supposed to fall in love with. I'm sorry I never got to meet you. I'm sorry we never dated. Or kissed....or ever made love. I'm sorry about the friday night movies we were meant to cuddle up with. I'm sorry about the nights we were supposed to fight and make up. I'm sorry about the midnight cravings I never had, and the children I was supposed to give you. I'm sorry we never got to grow old together.

To the world that will move on without me. I'm sorry I never got to live. I'm sorry I'm leaving so soon. I was blessed to know you.

Thank you for all your beauty.

Amanda.
A friend of mine recently passed away from cancer.

I feel like I barely had the chance to know her. But I miss her everyday.
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:iconskylarkthecat:
SkylarkTheCat Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I've got no words. Just tears D"X
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:iconlife-without-you:
life-without-you Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
So sad.
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:icontwilightprincess1012:
twilightprincess1012 Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2013  Student General Artist
rest in peace Amanda.even if we never knew you we'll miss you...
Reply
:iconimaterribledrawer:
imaterribledrawer Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
...you just made me think of what I would tell my family if I was dying... I... need a hug now... that poor girl...
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
May she rest in peace... this was beautifully written
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:iconapollosun87:
ApolloSun87 Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Wow. I'm sorry. This piece was beautiful. Very beautiful....
Reply
:iconxxxrachaelnoelxxx:
xXxrachaelnoelxXx Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2011  Student General Artist
That made me one, reconsider how I'm living my life and how selfish I'm being about it and two, want to cry. Which is good for you, it means you're a good writer because you invoked so much emotion through your words. I'm really sorry you lost your friend though, that's always horribly, painfully hard :hug:

On a side note, I have been raping your gallery with faves. I apologixe for the fifty gazillion messages that are going to pop up saying I favorited so much stuffxD
Reply
:iconxtokimaru:
xTokimaru Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2011  Student Digital Artist
I flooded my desk with tears.
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:iconwanderer11:
Wanderer11 Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2011
I'm so sorry to read of your lost. The interesting thing for me was that I just recently recovered from treatment for cancer, to be honest, these were the thoughts that flown around my head. I am thankful for the days I have given and will be receiving, I'm sure your friend too had found comfort in the days she had spent with you and her loved ones. May she find peace and happiness wherever she is now.

Truly, you have a gift with words.

Would you mind if I ask how old was your friend when she passed away?
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:iconred-xlll:
Red-Xlll Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2011
Your stories bring me to tears. It's a great thing though. I'm addicted to this beautiful poetic misery.

I lost someone to cancer a few years ago as well. She deserved better in life. :'(
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