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Poetry by VampireLoveYou

Writing by Arotha

Literature by patch-of-sunshine

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Submitted on
August 24, 2012
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Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
I'm not the marrying kind.

I have stones in my hair instead of flowers,
And a rosebush of thorns is more poignant to me.

I'm not the marrying kind.

My words aren't pretty or wise,
And I can't sing about anything but a broken heart.

I'm not the marrying kind.

I am the sort of damaged you see in an old recorder,
And the kind of old in an instrument that breaks into a billion pieces at a touch.

I'm not the marrying kind.

Neither neat, nor tidy, nor correct in my behavior,
And yes, I did in fact tell you to fuck yourself.

I'm not the marrying kind.

I do not stay silent in arguments,

And I like to lie compulsively, just to see your face change.

I'm not the marrying kind.

I am not the ideal of any lady, nor her likes,

And I do not allow any man to walk all over me.

No. I am not the marrying kind.

But I do like the idea of a little girl with her mother's determination,

And a man who smiles at me like I am his most treasured possession.
Just because I know I'm not the marrying kind...doesn't mean I can't be the loved kind.

(I should label these Before K and After K. This one was before K, when I was sad and depressed and rather low on myself because I had stopped believing anyone could actually care about me...I met him the very next day. And he makes me feel like the loved kind. :))

EDIT: Okay, context for all the people judging me and telling me there is something wrong with me: When someone has told you that you are damaged because you have a past, aka rape, miscarriage etc, etc, then eventually you start believing them. Please don't think I do not invest in my relationships because I do, only to be told I'm not good enough because I am not a virgin, speak out when I am being cheated on, not of the 'right' religion or their parents won't approve of me because I was raped and lost my children (Someone mentioned gender roles over here. I don't know where it is written that a woman has to be a virgin, chaste and do exactly what a man tells her to do to be a good wife either.).

So I say to all of those who have broken me: Maybe I am not the marrying kind. But since I can love with all my heart, maybe I do deserve a little bit of happiness anyway. Despite being the damaged 'fallen' woman that I am. :)

I think this background to the poem is important. :)

[link] - facebook page
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Freak-With-Issues Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2014  Student General Artist
I have found myself in a similar situation as yourself. I have a bit of a bumpy past and marriage doesn't entice me, but love certainly does. I've also recently found someone to give this love to me so I hope the man you met the next day can make you the loved kind.
TsukiNoMilkshake Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2013
I get this poem and comments were written more than a year ago, but since I don't know more of the case, I need to say so:
Girl, you're a person, not a thing. Things get damaged. People get hurt. Different things! To hell with these very-stupid-very-bad-judging people! You know you did nothing wrong, and even if you had (other stuff, of course, not being raped, getting a miscarriage, ever having sex or not accepting modern sexist slavery) you can always do some good to compensate. There.
Good luck with your life :)
TooManyFlavors Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
MzMADness Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013  Professional Artisan Crafter
When that last comment breaks you down and you finally just give up. This is who I am I guess, I don't care anymore. That's a strong moment. One where you put up a lot of walls. But then the moment where it changes. When someone for some reason can reach past those walls, into the heart you didn't think could be loved and makes you feel happy. Makes you feel like you Deserve to be happy. That moment is much stronger. That moment changes you for the better.
summerday27 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
And I like to lie compulsively, just to see your face change. I've done this...
This is beautiful. In a honest, and well, just beautiful way. I can't really explain this.
As for this, "I met him the very next day" I think that, that is a beautiful turn of events. A serendipity.
kirakishou21 Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012
very well said
from the poem to the background
i couldn't agree more
kirakishou21 Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012
very well said
from the poem into the background
i couldn't agree more
withinmeloveresides1 Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2012  Student Writer
I wrote a poem in response to this poem and do hope you like it: [link]
Slug22 Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012
Everyone deserves happiness and who are we to judge... your poetry, as is most poetry, is a frank exploration of the heart and soul, it is an expression of a point in time. The only judgement that that can be made is "Is this good poetry?" I think it is! :)
I smiled at the last line.

"It is never the things that break us that matter, it is the things we do after."
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