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I'm not the marrying kind.

I have stones in my hair instead of flowers,
And a rosebush of thorns is more poignant to me.



I'm not the marrying kind.

My words aren't pretty or wise,
And I can't sing about anything but a broken heart.



I'm not the marrying kind.

I am the sort of damaged you see in an old recorder,
And the kind of old in an instrument that breaks into a billion pieces at a touch.



I'm not the marrying kind.

Neither neat, nor tidy, nor correct in my behavior,
And yes, I did in fact tell you to fuck yourself.



I'm not the marrying kind.

I do not stay silent in arguments,

And I like to lie compulsively, just to see your face change.



I'm not the marrying kind.

I am not the ideal of any lady, nor her likes,

And I do not allow any man to walk all over me.



No. I am not the marrying kind.

But I do like the idea of a little girl with her mother's determination,

And a man who smiles at me like I am his most treasured possession.
Just because I know I'm not the marrying kind...doesn't mean I can't be the loved kind.




(I should label these Before K and After K. This one was before K, when I was sad and depressed and rather low on myself because I had stopped believing anyone could actually care about me...I met him the very next day. And he makes me feel like the loved kind. :))


EDIT: Okay, context for all the people judging me and telling me there is something wrong with me: When someone has told you that you are damaged because you have a past, aka rape, miscarriage etc, etc, then eventually you start believing them. Please don't think I do not invest in my relationships because I do, only to be told I'm not good enough because I am not a virgin, speak out when I am being cheated on, not of the 'right' religion or their parents won't approve of me because I was raped and lost my children (Someone mentioned gender roles over here. I don't know where it is written that a woman has to be a virgin, chaste and do exactly what a man tells her to do to be a good wife either.).

So I say to all of those who have broken me: Maybe I am not the marrying kind. But since I can love with all my heart, maybe I do deserve a little bit of happiness anyway. Despite being the damaged 'fallen' woman that I am. :)

I think this background to the poem is important. :)




[link] - facebook page
Add a Comment:
 
:iconfreak-with-issues:
Freak-With-Issues Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2014  Student General Artist
I have found myself in a similar situation as yourself. I have a bit of a bumpy past and marriage doesn't entice me, but love certainly does. I've also recently found someone to give this love to me so I hope the man you met the next day can make you the loved kind.
Reply
:icontsukinomilkshake:
TsukiNoMilkshake Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2013
I get this poem and comments were written more than a year ago, but since I don't know more of the case, I need to say so:
Girl, you're a person, not a thing. Things get damaged. People get hurt. Different things! To hell with these very-stupid-very-bad-judging people! You know you did nothing wrong, and even if you had (other stuff, of course, not being raped, getting a miscarriage, ever having sex or not accepting modern sexist slavery) you can always do some good to compensate. There.
Good luck with your life :)
Reply
:icontoomanyflavors:
TooManyFlavors Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
WOW..
Reply
:iconmzmadness:
MzMADness Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013  Professional Artisan Crafter
When that last comment breaks you down and you finally just give up. This is who I am I guess, I don't care anymore. That's a strong moment. One where you put up a lot of walls. But then the moment where it changes. When someone for some reason can reach past those walls, into the heart you didn't think could be loved and makes you feel happy. Makes you feel like you Deserve to be happy. That moment is much stronger. That moment changes you for the better.
Reply
:iconsummerday27:
summerday27 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
And I like to lie compulsively, just to see your face change. I've done this...
This is beautiful. In a honest, and well, just beautiful way. I can't really explain this.
As for this, "I met him the very next day" I think that, that is a beautiful turn of events. A serendipity.
Reply
:iconkirakishou21:
kirakishou21 Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012
very well said
from the poem to the background
i couldn't agree more
Reply
:iconkirakishou21:
kirakishou21 Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012
very well said
from the poem into the background
i couldn't agree more
Reply
:iconwithinmeloveresides1:
withinmeloveresides1 Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2012  Student Writer
I wrote a poem in response to this poem and do hope you like it: [link]
Reply
:iconslug22:
Slug22 Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012
Everyone deserves happiness and who are we to judge... your poetry, as is most poetry, is a frank exploration of the heart and soul, it is an expression of a point in time. The only judgement that that can be made is "Is this good poetry?" I think it is! :)
Reply
:iconsebastianswiftwalker:
I smiled at the last line.

"It is never the things that break us that matter, it is the things we do after."
Reply
:iconthe-neon-affairs:
the-neon-affairs Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Soo beautiful. I don't think I am the marrying kind either. :P
But, that's cool.
:heart:
Reply
:iconfell4:
Fell4 Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2012
Just because you are not those things--a virgin, soft spoken, or a "lady" doesn't mean you don't deserve to be wedded. Don't let what people say affect you! People shouldn't judge others (although we do it anyway) for the one "who pass[es] judgement on someone else... at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgement do these same things."
If someone truly loves you, they will not care about these things because they will love you for who you are (I know it sounds cliche but) true "love is kind... it keeps no record of wrongs... It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and will always persevere." That is something I definitively believe in!
Reply
:iconcupcakequeen09:
CupcakeQueen09 Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2012
Uhhhhhh. This REALLY confused my at first because I read 'I'm not marrying the kind' ....I had to read it five times to see it the right way.......My Stupidity...........But I like it!!!
Reply
:iconcinders8328:
Cinders8328 Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hello Sweetie, I read this and completely understand! I am now a single mother. I got married first did everything right and he still left. well maybe not everything, but I did the best I could. He finally apologized after leaving 3 years ago. I once gave up too. I hope if you read this it may help and please feel free to share it with anyone else who might be able to be helped by it!
[link]
:heart:
Cinders
Reply
:iconsalkarin-rae:
Salkarin-Rae Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Everyone's damaged from birth, not even ghosts are perfect.
You're born human, but it's always your choice to be a fallen angel or a risen demon.
Angels love stronger, simply because they know what it feels like to lose it.
Reply
:iconariasgemini:
ariasgemini Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This is a perfect representation of the reasons why I admire you so much. You are talented, a role-model to me when it comes to writing. But your strength is so much greater that I cannot help but admire you all the more :rose:

Also, it's great that you found someone that makes you feel loved. That's the way things should be :nod:
Reply
:iconaskpuerto-rico:
AskPuerto-Rico Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012
AMAZING! I-I don't even know what to say!! :iconcannotevenplz:
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!! :)
Reply
:iconaskpuerto-rico:
AskPuerto-Rico Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012
No Problem~! ^^
Reply
:iconclaireby:
cLaIrEbY Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012
Beautiful. I'm in awe of you.
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for saying something so wonderful. :hug:
Reply
:iconclaireby:
cLaIrEbY Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2012
It's easy to say wonderful things when they're true :hug:
Reply
:iconrojozorra:
Rojozorra Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I think this is beautiful and speaks volumes. I'm only upset it's taken me so long to read it. I apologize beautiful and beg forgiveness. Simply amazing. Added to my favorites. :heart:
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Awww, bless!! Thank you for saying something so beautiful to me!! :hug:
Reply
:iconrojozorra:
Rojozorra Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
It's absolutely the truth. I haven't written poetry in a few years. I write the best when sleep deprived and to be honest I've been sleeping too much and not properly lately. Your writing has always been one of my favorites and out of all the piles on things in my watch list yours are the only ones I've been able to sit down and read with unabated attention. It's reminded me of my love of poetry. So thank you for being so wonderful I've quite missed you.
Reply
:iconthedinowithnoarms:
TheDinoWithNoArms Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Not the marrying kind, but oh so deserving of being the loved kind (and of course marriage as well if you ever decided that you wanted to).
This is beautiful and you speak so well and get your emotions across wonderfully.

<3

I am *Sana-girl ^^ I changed my profile and figured I would let you know so you wouldnt think I disappeared (though I do kind of take forever hiatuses on here every now and then)
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hi Sana! It's good to see you again! I was missing your gorgeous, insightful comments! :heart:
Reply
:iconthedinowithnoarms:
TheDinoWithNoArms Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
^^ aw thank you so much! I missed your pieces very much and I cant get on as much as I like, but I have your three latest pieces and hope to read and comment on them as soon as possible :heart:
Reply
:iconlordoftheringsfan:
LordOfTheRingsFan Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I love this. :) I can easily relate to it...
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:glomp:
Reply
:iconkrusnik03:
Krusnik03 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Amazing. :) The word does not only describe your poem, but you as well.
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for saying that, my dear. :hug:
Reply
:iconkrusnik03:
Krusnik03 Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Welcome. ^^
Reply
:iconlydiap3:
Lydiap3 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2012  Student Writer
I swear this is officially my favorite poem I've read so far on here, and all togther :) I kinda reminds me of myself, but not. It's really hard to describe the connection I have with it....
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Awww, thank you! :heart:
Reply
:iconindangercupcake:
inDANGERcupCAKE Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
This poem is amazing. One of my favorites. Well done. =)
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for saying that to me. :glomp:
Reply
:iconindangercupcake:
inDANGERcupCAKE Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
No problem. =) It was truly amazing.
Reply
:iconjakit:
Jakit Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2012  Student General Artist
well done, this is a really wonderful poem and i'm glad that you have someone who makes you the loved kind, i wonder too if i will ever find someone like that. i hope that happiness stays with you, all the best ^_^
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you. He is a good man. I really hope he and I can both be happy together. :)
Reply
:iconluminous-light14:
luminous-light14 Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2012
BEAUTIFUL!
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!! :D
Reply
:iconrepeated-love-song:
Repeated-Love-Song Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2012
I don't understand how you could have received an personal criticism for this poem. But people are idiots and will find any reason to judge others. Great poem :) You're a strong woman. Marriage is just a legal thing, it is certainly not for everyone.
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much, my darling. :hug: Marriage isn't for everyone, this is true. :hug:
Reply
:iconextranzia:
Extranzia Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2012  Student Writer
I saw your edit. The beauty of brokenness is that through the pain we grow stronger and closer to the light than before because we have known the shadows of life. Yes we may have scars, but like scar tissue, they make us stronger.

In my personal opinion it adds personality as well.

Keep up the brilliant work, you are an inspiration to many. :)
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much, my dear!! Your comment made me smile. :hug:
Reply
:iconextranzia:
Extranzia Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Student Writer
You're so welcome. :)
Reply
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