Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
×

:iconuntamedunwanted: More from UntamedUnwanted


Featured in Collections

UntamedUnwanted by cosmosgrl19

Writing by emilyegould

Literature by SnickerdoodleAngel


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
July 5, 2013
File Size
1.4 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
2,961
Favourites
266 (who?)
Comments
113
×
Hello.

My name is Hollow.
I live inside your soul.
Under the layers and layers of skin,
and tissue and muscle...
all the way down where nothing
and everything survives.

(I wish I knew before I trusted you
That lying is second nature to one
with as many regrets as you.
)

My name is Hollow.
I live inside you now,
because you gave me the power
in all your virtuous belief
that the world was good
to survive your strength...

(I hoped to God you wouldn't
lie or steal or break what is already
a thousand pieces of a broken soul.
)

My name is Hollow.
You let me in when sex
began to feel like an ache.
But the pain felt better than
dealing with the hurt
inside your head, your heart...

(This was always a world for those
that were harder than me
Strength is sometimes a very relative thing.
)

My name is Hollow.
I am the jagged lines you draw
all along your skin,
your muscles, your bones...
The sharp edge of a knife,
the scarlet drops of remorse.

(Here's a question now for your soul:
How many times can
a broken thing break?
)

(Let's see, shall we?)

I'm still here.



I'm still here.

I'm still here.
Add a Comment:
 
:icon42skins42:
42SKINS42 Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2014  New member Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
breaks many times tell the love that bounds it backtogether is taken away
Reply
:iconyelimoon:
YeliMoon Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Why does most of your poems want to make me cry?
You have true talent.
Reply
:iconkinggarcia:
KingGarcia Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2014
wow
Reply
:iconordinary-monster:
ordinary-monster Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2014
Aw-ww... In my books, this goes to same I like it a lot-category than your Lost November did. It seems that each time I read this through I cannot help wondering did I really get it or not and need to have another go at it. 

Perhaps I should give it a rest and be content with the idea that sometimes a relationship is lesser of evils, but evil nonetheless, with both taking advantage of the other in their own, perhaps even calculated ways to fill the needs they have. And as result, repeat a pattern already familiar to them.

Now, whether that could not be further from the point or not, it doesn't matter. What matters is that it is a great piece of work to enjoy a lot longer than it takes to read it. With a patience like mine, it's a real compliment. :)
Reply
:iconfridayatmidnight:
FridayatMidnight Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Amazing! Someone should write this into a song or rap. xD
Reply
:iconfallen-angel-01:
Fallen-Angel-01 Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow
Reply
:iconvampiresballad:
vampiresballad Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2013
Exhilarating Heart Heart Heart 
Reply
:iconchewyraezen:
chewyraezen Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
We must be hollow so that we can be filled up. Great write!
Reply
:iconddog101rocks:
ddog101rocks Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
There was once a poem. That described my life. That poem is this poem.
Reply
:iconddog101rocks:
ddog101rocks Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Almost. 
Reply
:icongreenanimechick6199:
greenanimechick6199 Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2013
wow i love reading your work i just readed  one and i just cant stop :D <3
Reply
:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Gah, this is fantastic. :clap:
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you, my dearest. :)
Reply
:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
My pleasure. :)
Reply
:iconlthornton:
lthornton Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013
Love it.  Love your writing.  You're very talented!
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much! :)
Reply
:iconxomegaxx:
XomegaXX Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Broken things often bite and tear and claw at those who only care. At those who only want to help.
Reply
:iconrainyskyz:
RainySkyz Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2013   Writer
:heart: This is so good! Loved reading it!
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much, my dear. :)
Reply
:iconangelichope:
angelichope Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2013
Amazing poem!:D
And I hope your hollowness goes, (if you have any) and it can if you really fight!
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much! :)
Reply
:iconangelichope:
angelichope Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2013
Very welcome!!!!:iconhugehug1::iconhugehug2:
Reply
:iconlightoverpowers58:
LightOverpowers58 Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013  Student Writer
I am not one to shed tears, yet it seems like each time you publish a piece I find something to cry about...if it isn't the emotions, shared on various levels, then it's the message (pure and unrelenting in its intensity). I want to hate you for it, but it only seems to increase my understanding of the people and the world around me...something that I could never hate, only cherish.

You are not alone, we are all still here with you, just across the airways and some of us.
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
As always my dear...thank you!
Reply
:iconlightoverpowers58:
LightOverpowers58 Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2013  Student Writer
:glomp: You are never going to stop thanking me, are you?
Reply
:iconmintybreeze:
mintybreeze Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
So nice to that you are back!
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:hug:
Reply
:iconrojozorra:
Rojozorra Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I love your work ever so much.
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you my dear! How are you??
Reply
:iconrojozorra:
Rojozorra Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I'm great. Just trying to get back more active on here again. If I don't have time to read your prose whenever I'm on I save it til I can read it. It's never a let down.
Reply
:iconprosperv:
ProsperV Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Well, it's certainly intense. Aside from your excellent choice of vocabulary, I do appreciate the actual theme of the poem It's very moving; a truly inspiring piece.
Reply
:iconkitkatkreative36513:
KitKatKreative36513 Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013
I completely agree.
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for the lovely, insightful comment. :heart:
Reply
:icondyskodelthunderback:
DyskoDelThunderback Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013
This was cold and biting. I felt the hurt coming through. I am a little confused at the relationship between the two speakers, or what happened between them
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
When I wrote this, I think it was the hurt inside speaking 'Hollow' and the girl was talking to the audience.
Reply
:icondyskodelthunderback:
DyskoDelThunderback Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013
Is she talking to someone who abused or raped her?
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Both. :(
Reply
:icondyskodelthunderback:
DyskoDelThunderback Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013
Wow...fiction I hope
Reply
:iconzimberlykane:
ZimberlyKane Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm speechless.

How can two people who have never spoke have feelings that resonate so strongly within each other?
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:hug:
Reply
:iconconfidencealive:
confidenceAlive Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Ahh, I've been waiting with anticipation to see more of your work C: And I'm not at all disappointed, this is lovely!

Okay, maybe lovely isn't the right adjective...
This poem is so gripping. And when I saw your comment 'I'm still here.' I had a small brunette moment and thought I was seeing the title, but it still fit quite nicely into the poem! Haaha.. anyway.
It's almost depressing, you've spoken a world of pain in just a few verses. But pain journeys are an important part of art, and why art, and it's really beautiful.

So if none of that made sense to you... Good job! C: I like it.
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much. Your comments always make me smile, my dear. How are you? How is life, love, the pursuit of happiness?
Reply
:iconconfidencealive:
confidenceAlive Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome! (: And I'm happy to bring a little extra sunshine into your day :)
Life, love and the pursuit of happiness? Oh boy, where do I start? (:
Between fights with my fiancee and grieving the death of my younger cousin a month ago, I'm doing really well. A lot has been shifting in my life lately and I've been seeing the promise of much-needed change. On my mom's suggestion my fiancee and I met with a pastor and his wife for marriage counseling, and also because my mom has been concerned that we don't have the support in our church 'family' that we really will need as newlyweds, so we're also getting involved with this pastor's church and making connections with some really nice people there--especially since my family and I are leaving the one I grew up in because we don't believe the same way, and it's basically a cult. Haha. But we're really happy to be taking a step out and finding more opportunities elsewhere.
Anyway. We're planning a wedding for November 9th :3 and I cannot wait. Seriously...ah! Life, love, happiness, all coming together. I might just faint from happiness!
Soooo How about you?! How are you? And things?
Reply
:iconphandagart:
Phandagart Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2013
Lovely to see you uploading poems again, Niki. :) It's been too long.
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! Its good to see you again too! :)
Reply
:iconnelehgrimm:
NelehGrimm Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2013  Student Writer
Lovely to know you're still here and your poem is just as lovely.
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much, my darling!! :hug:
Reply
:iconnianlauri:
NianLauri Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2013
"(Here's a question now for your soul:
How many times can
a broken thing break?)"

Great as always...And this last part made my day. Keep up the really great work. :)
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much! :)
Reply
:iconmetalhead2000:
metalhead2000 Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2013
WoW! Ive read this like, half a dozen times already....,And it really takes you away. But that is what great writing is supposed to do. Thanks.
Reply
Add a Comment: