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Submitted on
January 3, 2012
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"You won't tell us then? What it's like?"

"..."

"Is it because you have something to hide?"

"..."

"Or is it because it never actually happened?"

"It happened."

"Then tell us. Tell us what is it like."

"I was always the girl whose family asks 'What is wrong with you.' instead of 'What is wrong with you?'"

"And this has nothing to do with my ques-"

"If they had all just asked...I would tell them. I would tell them that my heart was torn into  hundreds and thousands. And my lungs were still crushed from footholds. And my brain still sees two little girls laughing and playing. And my legs hurt from dragging myself from basements that never quite close. And the bone in my left arm has never healed because it protected me. And my arteries are still clogged with his name. And my wind pipe never quite feels open anymore. And my dreams and memories have turned to dust. And there is a part of me that wants to forget, but my mind just won't heal enough to let me sleep. And my spirit feels like it's reborn to a world which is so much crueller than the one before. That I have his name shaped in my mouth, my spine and every other part of me that actually counts."

"And you didn't tell us this earlier because..."

"Because, madam...how do you find the right way to describe the night someone stole your soul and sold you a bottle of broken dreams instead?"
About a month and a half ago, I was raped again. This time by a stranger, ripped from my own bed because a friend who I was staying with decided to leave a door unlocked, something I never ever do.

He stole my words from me. It's where I've been hiding somewhere between losing myself and the screaming in my own mind.

They keep asking me what it was like to be raped.
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:iconsmitty00909:
smitty00909 Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2013
In all my years of surfing deviants/deviation, I must say that this is the first piece of prose that I have added to my faves!
A great work.
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:iconizaya100:
Izaya100 Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012  Student Artist
this was awesome but i have a question where you really raped .... you don't have to answer if you don't want to
Reply
:iconxxblackblossomxx:
XxblackblossomxX Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You are so strong
Reply
:icon619warrior281:
619warrior281 Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Your words are...they...well, i was searching for a description fit for them but am left unable to.
I'm moved by them. Your writings are filled with such emotion you don't see out of people anymore. And maybe it's a good thing, because it's a feeling no one should feel.
But your words are beautiful. And even out of a mess a gem can be found.
I mean no offense by my words. I have respect, and nothing less for you. :heart:
Reply
:iconskruffy123:
skruffy123 Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2012  Professional General Artist
those with out understanding are prone to ask questions they don't fully comprehend. as always your writing was moving.
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:icontiraluv:
tiraluv Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2012
I am so sorry you had to endure this. Some people don't understand that certain experiences leave you without words and for a writer, that's an extremely unwanted addition of horror. I'm glad that you've found your words again. They are too beautiful for the world to do without.
Reply
:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2012  Professional Writer
Your expressions are deeply profound and heart moving... to write of such a dark experience takes a lot of courage. Sharing your story and writing about it also helpful on the path of heeling.
Reply
:iconreaper145:
Reaper145 Featured By Owner May 29, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I just found you today. I'm late on this piece, but... Well, obviously, there's no words I can think to say to help you. I'm just so sorry you had to go through something like this, and to write about it-- you must be an incredible person. I feel choked up just because of how personal this piece is.
Reply
:iconwolfrunner82:
WolfRunner82 Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
your words are full of such emotion. nobody can start to feel the pain you have been through. i am so sorry :(
Reply
:iconpurpleobsessedninja:
PurpleObsessedNinja Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:hug:

that is all :(
Reply
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