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1.

It was because her parents had named her for the grandmother who had broken her mother’s heart. The grandmother whose heart was supposed to have melted from her birth and hadn’t.

That was why her mother barely looked at her. That was why she called her ‘girl’.

That was why she liked to pretend she was the quiet woman in the background of an old black and white movie. Because everything here was like an old black and white movie.

[And if she really looked back, her mother had never appreciated the elegance of the 1950s enough.]

2.

It was because she hated surprises. The surprise she got on her sixth birthday when her father left taught her just how a single person had the ability of taking your soul, splitting it in two and wearing it on their breast pocket like a white carnation waiting to die.

That was why when she lifted a book, she looked at the last page first.

That was why her namelessness had become a comfort to her.

That was why she understood how she was like a fizzy drink without the fizz, too cold coke left on a windowsill, and a half drawn painting sitting in the back of a sketchbook.

[What she didn’t understand was why she never reacted when she heard a loud noise, a sudden movement...and most importantly, by the nightmares that crushed her chest every night.]

3.

It was because she misunderstood the kiss he gave her that night. The sky was sparkling with diamonds, the air was thick with heat, the wind was enough to caress their fevered skin; it was too perfect for the flawed existence she had grown to know.

That was why when he tried to kiss her again, she asked him to kiss his unloved flaws, his bones instead.

That was why her movements were so restricted when she touched him, why his hand fell away when she reached for him, why he never felt guilty for leaving her out in a storm at 3 a.m. Why she refused to let herself love him.

She was nothing but an almost lover, an almost friend, an almost daughter. The little bit of left over hot chocolate in a cup that had long since been consumed.

[This is what happens when you don’t find yourself on the right side of seventeen.]
Was written for my book. I offer it as a snippet of love. :)
Add a Comment:
 
:iconelectricelephant:
electricelephant Featured By Owner May 31, 2013
What is the name of your book?
Reply
:iconbevan-ravenswing:
Bevan-Ravenswing Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2013   Artist
Extraordinarily evocative.
Reply
:iconmel956:
Mel956 Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013
This is beautiful! You are really talented.
Reply
:iconpurpleobsessedninja:
PurpleObsessedNinja Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm you're friend! You'd say life has improved since 17, yes? I hope so.
Reply
:iconzuzmy:
Zuzmy Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2013  Student
[link]

You should listen to this song. Your beautiful poetry resonates so well with it... I love your work, I honestly do. Really amazing. I'm studying at uni in Ahmedabad right now and finding out you're Indian makes me so happy - you're like a role model, an inspiration.
Thanks so much for everything!
Reply
:iconashmashtheflash:
AshMashTheFlash Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is so lovely and dark and beautiful. I love how every sentence, despite being disconnected- feels like it could be sewn together.
Reply
:icondyskodelthunderback:
DyskoDelThunderback Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013
Wow. Subtle, dark, a little grim. Love it.
Reply
:iconfanaticalpublishing:
FanaticalPublishing Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013
Wow, lovely work.
Reply
:iconcosmosgrl19:
cosmosgrl19 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Thank you, sweetie. This touches me because I am a seventeen year old, heh. :hug: Love you, sweetie :heart:

Oh, I'm thinking of trying self-publishing :3 Good idea?
Reply
:iconweirdandproudofit:
weirdandproudofit Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Student Artist
I adore this, it's brilliant and you caught did what so many others fail to do - describing emotions through things unsaid, just hinted at. Utterly inspirational, amazing work!
Reply
:icontu11:
tu11 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013
This is beautiful.
Reply
:iconh-sayuri:
H-Sayuri Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It's is wonderfully written, I don't have words to describe. I really love it :)
Reply
:iconkaelamae:
kaelamae Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Student Writer
Simply Beautiful.
Reply
:iconfoxofebony:
FoxofEbony Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013
This is a beautiful piece :)
Reply
:iconsummerday27:
summerday27 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
That was why when she lifted a book, she looked at the last page first. Ooh, just chilling. This is, beyond words can describe. The way you write, is just breath taking. :heart: :faint:
Reply
:iconitsa-mystery:
Itsa-Mystery Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013
You have a gift
Reply
:iconpengwens:
pengwens Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013
Beautiful and sad.
Reply
:iconteirra-misaki:
Teirra-Misaki Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Student General Artist
my entire year of being 17 was the most depressing time ive ever had...ugh (sorry but since its called 17 i kinda thought it was like age 17 yknow?)

beautifully written as always
Reply
:iconladysparrow01:
LadySparrow01 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Student General Artist
This is absolutely beautifully written.
Reply
:iconzero2525:
Zero2525 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hell is for children.
Reply
:iconphoenixofwinterfell:
PhoenixOfWinterfell Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Student Writer
That's beautiful and sad at the same time... You sure have talent, though! :)
Reply
:iconkrusnik03:
Krusnik03 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Heart-breakingly amazing. :)
Reply
:iconwinter995:
Winter995 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013
If my mom let me go out I would love this life. Your portrait was awesome. What was the name of this book.
Reply
:iconmeyou196:
meyou196 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013
Emerald A beautiful stone make eyes cool
[link]
Reply
:iconmyrikay:
Myrikay Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Student General Artist
It's so raw and emotional, I absolutely love it!
Reply
:iconinsomniaplague:
insomniaplague Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I had just published my own poetry, and felt some pride in it. I was happy about it...then I read this. God, it's an envy I've never felt before...it's so raw, so beautiful--all other emotions are gutted & nothings there but what you've given.

You, if anyone, have more than talent. You really have something. :)
Reply
:iconbozi-adopts:
Bozi-Adopts Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013
Oh my gosh this was absolutely beautiful, so sad as well
Reply
:iconmarionetteofmusic:
MarionetteOfMusic Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013
I love this! You always have such raw emotion in your pieces. A lot of the time I just see pieces that are very flat or emotionless. I wonder why they didn't take initiative or use their own potential, but you always manage to pack a ton of emotion into your pieces. Keep up the awesome work!
Reply
:iconforthisvalentineday:
FORTHISVALENTINEDAY Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013
On This Valentine day special collection for every one please must checked for lovers
[link]
[link]
[link]
[link]
[link]
Reply
:iconirrendernarr42:
irrenderNarr42 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
very deep as always, but what is it with that chocolate-metaphore at the end? you so often use sweets-metaphores, why?
Reply
:iconmintybreeze:
mintybreeze Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Another very touching piece. We all have our stories I suppose...
Reply
:iconbrokenquiet:
BrokenQuiet Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
The emotiveness in this is beautiful..
Reply
:iconsteamland:
Steamland Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Student General Artist
WOW, AND i THOGUTH MY LIFE SUCKED. :C Well :hug: you have a friend here for you untamedUnwanted :)
Reply
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