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Submitted on
May 25, 2012
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look:

he was winterish blue eyes and an autumn scarf dressed in an stupid pink summer sweater that made no sense on a spring day. His shoes were converse, the kind of the skinny intellectual who had just enough money to buy one pair of decent shoes. she never really liked skinny intellectuals, yet did find herself considering them sometimes, in the way she considered coffee that was tongue scalding (horribly and without excuse).

it is odd then, that she still doesn't regret his monsoon flavoured kiss, the kind that made your tongue bleed with its passion, its heat.

understand:

he drew in uneasy catches of breath as he snored in the heat of the summer night, nights when she would stay up and listen to cars that passed by, pretending they were a waterfall instead of the cold harsh truth of metal against concrete, just so she could sleep as soundly as him.

she took his breathing for granted.

deny:

he spent hours lost in the dry unending silence of his typewriter, of his word making, and yes, even of his long walks that become longer everyday. autumn, like his autumn scarf inspired him, he insisted, forgetting to eat, forgetting to sleep, forgetting to drink; forgetting her.

all for the secrets of cinnamon perfume and plum lipstick that he was always covered in when he returned from these long 'walks'.

no wonder he would never hold her until he washed his hands when he returned. they had been too busy holding the curves of a frame too delicate to be hers.

break:

he left his autumn scarf under the broken little bed when he left with a waif of a girl, her mouth covered in plum lipstick. she chose to forget it there, or else her lungs might collapse when she saw it...and she couldn't afford to forget to breathe.

even if breathing seemed like a luxury now.

fall:

she still hates the rain, the way it reminds her of how she will never be cinnamon flavoured or wear plum lipstick or waif like enough for him to kiss again.

her mouth is too soft and thin, her scent too seasonal, her bones too big.

she still hates the rain because there is something of a dark epiphany about watching your life fall to pieces like droplets in an open window and doing nothing at all to stop it.
she would have broken that winter into ten separate snowflakes of seasonal joy, if it meant him staying till the converse shoes fell off his feet.

i only wish there was a way to make him understand that love has nothing to do with what is new, what is different. love is meant to be comfortable, old, understanding.

why was it so easy for you to tire of me and choose her instead. she doesn't even understand why you like burnt toast and old movies in the middle of the night.
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:iconlaffinia:
laffinia Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2012
this is seriously my favorite of your works.
brilliant.
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:iconjessica35:
jessica35 Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2012
Beautiful. This "love has nothing to do with what is new, what is different. love is meant to be comfortable, old, understanding" is so true. Love it!
Reply
:iconsignalspells:
signalspells Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2012  Student Writer
That's it!you've earned another watcher!
Reply
:iconyalmoon:
YalMoon Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2012  Student Writer
I really love your work . It is always so beautifully written and it carries this certain silence that you don't often find in written works. It is a peaceful, yet empty silence. It kind of sets me at peace but still makes me fret a little and think and turn my thoughts at the same time. I don't know if anyone really understands this but it is the best way I can explain. Its just like even though you always start off somewhere in between you manage to make your writting whole and wonderful. Your work just wants me to also keep on writing so I can improve myself and stuff. Thank you for sharing something like this with us.
Reply
:icontiraluv:
tiraluv Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2012
I like to call it old people love. The love that has a print almost like the groove in your favorite memory foam chair. I love the way that she loves him for the quirky things. Yet again, your work is beautiful.
Reply
:iconsamikitty14:
SamiKitty14 Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012
kinda of sad, but still amazing job ^.^
Reply
:iconbig-the-ed:
Big-The-ED Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012
I have a friend going through something almost similar, and it's almost painful to watch her go through it, the way it makes a fissure in the whole way she sees the world and everyone she once knew in it.
Reply
:iconxxxfallendreamerxxx:
xXxFallenDreamerxXx Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2012
Wow. Just...wow.
Reply
:iconamakika7:
amakika7 Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2012
Wow I really like it
Reply
:iconberry-suppression:
Berry-Suppression Featured By Owner May 31, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'm in complete awe of your writing. You are making such beauty from your pain. You're inspiring.
Reply
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