Over the years, my parents have dealt with several things about my personality they cannot understand. I know I haven't been an easy kid to deal with, and kudos to them for putting up with me so long.

Of course, there is the one thing they cannot and they will not deal with (because they simply do not want to), which is my bisexuality. It is something that most people in my life found hard to deal with about me. Including my best friend, my boy friend, and my entire friends circle.

It was therefore the most wonderful thing in the world when I found that on this website, so many people could relate to what I was saying...so many people could...see what I was going through and tell me their own stories...

Thank you, all of you. I know I haven't been able to respond to all the messages, mainly because the last month has been hectic with travelling and college, please do forgive me. But I have read each and every one of your messages and believe me, they have truly moved me.

All of you are so much braver than I can ever be. So many of you are fighting every single day of your lives for something you shouldn't need to fight for. All of you are amazing, wonderful people and I can only pray that a day will come when none of you need to fight for something that should be your right.

It is everyone's right to live the way they want, and to love whom they want. These labels, homosexual, bisexual, pan sexual, trans sexual - are only meant to be a way to understand a person's orientation, not distinguish them from the heterosexual way of life.

All of us have a right to live with pride. After all, that is what the God of the Smaller things says. You don't see animals being distinguished by their orientation by anyone but human beings.

In all of this, there are two people whom I am very very grateful to, for all their support and for letting me know through all of their support that I am not alone.

Shy and Michael Thank you so much for everything. Words cannot say what this has meant to me. You have helped me get through what has been the biggest obstacle to me, and allowed me to stand ten feet tall.

Thank you. Every single one of you. For your kindness and your love and your support. Your courage has given ME the courage to go on...and to know that I am not alone.

Here's wishing all of you the very very best year ahead.

May all your dreams, wishes and prayers come true.

My whole life, I have been told that I'm wierd, or different, or out of the box. It's easy to deal with when your friends say it, even when a stranger says it. But I never realised how 'wierd' or 'different' I was, until I was eighteen years old.

I have always been attracted to women, even though I am a woman. And I've always liked men, because I am a woman. But the epiphany of my being bisexual never really hit me until I was eighteen years old.

You see, I always thought that this was normal. That my being attracted to both the sexes was something everyone probably went through at some point or the other. The thing is, for me, it wasn't just a 'hase'. For me, being bisexual was how I had always been. I had just never found a word for it.

So, when I first realised it, it was about the time when I had sketching the human anatomy. And guess what? I liked drawing women better than men (who doesn't?) but it wasn't just the drawing I was fascinated with. It was their curves and their mouths and their eyes and the shape of their feet, and the softness of their skin and their sweet curved lips...everything that makes a woman something to be worshiped and cherished. Men were delectable in their own right, right from their muscular form to the cut of their divine limbs and their wonderful features, but women...now women were goddesses and deserved to be worshiped as such.

I made the mistake of confiding my observations in great detail to my best friend.

Who in turn, and possibly in her discomfort, went and told everyone I knew, including my parents.

What followed was the epic battle of 'trying to turn me straight'.

My friends, my family, my teachers, even my boyfriend, did whatever they could to 'sort this problem out', going as far as asking me to go and pray for my soul and yelling at me for trying to be an attention seeker.

I was all alone in my saying that not only am I comfortable about what I am, I'm probably more comfortable being bisexual than you are being straight.

Being bi is not easy. People think it's way easier than being gay, but believe me, it isn't easy either. People think that bisexuals are attention whores and even worse, just plain promiscuous, probably marked with STDs, incapable of commitment, perverted, well...this list goes on.

So, family, friends, people I love and care about, let me educate you on a few things:

1. We can't help the we are. It's not a 'disease' you can get out of us.
2. It's not a disease, period.
3. We are not promiscuous just because we're bisexual, we can be just as monogamous as the next person. Whether YOU have come across a bisexual person who IS promiscuous, you should realise that he/she is probably so by INDIVIDUAL choice. Last I remember, this is a democracy and everyone has a right to their lifestyle.
4. Bisexuality is not a 'choice' because we're afraid to come out about our homosexuality. We really DO like men AND women.
5. If my bisexuality disturbs you, deal with it. It's NOT my job to make you feel comfortable because YOU have homophobia.
6. I LIKE BEING BISEXUAL. It's not unusual to me, nor do I feel awkward or guilty about it.
7. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
8. We aren't attention whores, and it would be nice if you stopped thinking it. YES, I MEAN YOU!
9. Don't hate me coz I have double the chances of getting laid than you do.
10. It ain't perverted because I AIN'T a pervert. You got that?

I'm 21 years old, female, and yes, ladies and gentlemen, I AM bisexual and fucking proud of it.

And no. I'm not changing my lifestyle for anyone.

So I had a virus on my laptop and had to get the whole thing reformatted. Had to spend the whole day in the back of beyond and I missed discussing my photofeature with my professor.

I lost everything because this virus had infected my external hard disk as as well. My laptop is back and in factory condition.

But I'm refusing to look at this as a bad thing. This is gonna make me work harder. I may have lost two years of work, but it made me realise that I can do better. So here, I'm gonna put up a list of things I will do every week until december at least.

1. A realistic pencil sketch (portrait/still life/anything)
2. A digital painting (Fantasy)
3. Packaging (CD cover/brochure/bag/box) OR Business stationary (Including logo design, business card etc.)
4. Photography. At least three great pics a week.
5. My tattoo art! IT IS SUFFERING!

Anywho. I'm not exactly new to deviant art, but I haven't posted a journal till now. I'm currently tired and overworked and I have to create a logo for a make believe company called Hardware. It's annoying me.

Working with vectors pisses me off.





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